Today was just one of those days.
You know the kind: you are just sitting around trying to
figure out how this is supposed to work, being a Catholic priest, a father to
three great sons while worrying about my Mom, since this is Father’s Day and we
just buried my Dad yesterday.
Exactly; that kind of day.
I had decided to join my brother to concelebrate Mass at his
parish, Holy Cross, in the Mount Airy section of Philadelphia. Two of my sons
were able to join me for the 11:00 Mass, and a woman in the pew in front of
them turned around, and asked, “Are you Father Grogan’s nephews?”
She no doubt thought that was a simple, straightforward
question. Instead it sort of defined the uniqueness of what has become the new
normal. “We are … and we aren’t” was my son’s reply, as he then explained that
yes, they were nephews of one Father Grogan, and sons of the other.
So, follow along with the roster for a moment. There was a
Bill and a Jim Grogan behind the altar, and there was a Bill and a Jim Grogan
in the pews (OK, we recycle names a lot in our family, and one of the Bill
Grogans actually goes by Will to help us keep it straight.) One Bill Grogan and
one Jim Grogan were nephews; two Bill Grogans and two Jim Grogans were
brothers, but only one Bill Grogan was an uncle. In all cases, Bill Grogan was
the older brother … I think that was to try and keep this straight in everyones’
mind, even though one of those Bill Grogans goes by the name Will.
Both pairs of Bill and Jim Grogans who were together at Holy
Cross had a brother, Tom Grogan, who was not there. One Tom Grogan was a
brother to two of the Grogans who were there, and an uncle to the other two. The
other Tom Grogan was a brother to two of the Grogans who were there, and a
nephew to the other Tom Grogan who wasn’t there. All four of the Bill and Jim
Grogans who were at Holy Cross prayed for William Grogan, who was both a father
and grandfather to the Grogan men gathered here. And that William Grogan we
prayed for was buried yesterday, surrounded by his sons, his daughters, his
loving wife, sons- and daughters-in-law, his grandchildren, his great grandchildren, and many, many
friends.
He was buried in a family plot at St. Denis Cemetery, next
to his brothers, Jim and Tom. Those two, Jim and Tom, were uncles to the Jim
and Bill who were priests today at Holy Cross, and were also “Fathers” since they were both priests,
too. So we gathered in prayer to celebrate the amazing life of my Dad, Bill
Grogan, who came to be laid to rest next to his brothers, Jim and Tom, and
their sister Mary.
One of the Jim Grogan’s who was at Holy Cross today married a girl
whose father was Thomas, and he had two brothers … Jimmy and Billy, and a
sister, Mary.
On this Father’s day, I am most grateful to my Dad for all
he taught me about being a father, and to my sons, who also taught me how to be
a father. I thank God for my Mom, who also taught me what it means to be a
parent, and so taught me a great deal about being a father. I count on the
blessing of having known and loved my wife, Ellie, through more than half my life,
and with whom we were blessed with three sons: Will, Jim and Tom Grogan.
I am also so very grateful to, and thank God for my three
sisters, Maryanne, Pat, and Jean, both because I love you for all the example
you set as faith-filled women, and because your names are not Bill, Jim and
Tom.
Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads who read this, and “Thank
you” to all the wives, sons and daughters who have made us fathers.
Happy Father’s Day to each of my brothers-in-law … only one
of whom is named Jim.
(All of this is exactly true; no names were changed, as we just don't do that in our family. The part that is most true is my thankfulness for the love we share as a family, in good times and in bad, on holidays and on every days.)
Thanks for everything, Dad.
I'm so sorry for your loss, friend. What a gift for him to celebrate in Heaven though.
ReplyDeleteYour name story made me chuckle. I do have to ask, was each generation named in the same order? :)
Hope you are doing well.
Actually, no, they were not. There is an Irish custom of naming the first son after the grandfather, and the second son after the father. That was "mostly" done, except for my Dad who named his oldest son Bill after him, and I as second son got my grandfather's name. That made me sharing the name of my grandfather, and his father (since he was a second son), as well as my uncle (who was the second son). Of course, my second son is also Jim, the fifth generation - at least - of that name being honored and used.
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